Big Brother 11 extensive review of first episode

The Final series of Big Brother kicked off last night and for those of you who want to keep in the loop with the eleventh series
of the reality tv show but missed out on last nights circus themed affair we thought we'd fill you in. Big Brother invited 81 hopefuls
to meet each other on monday- they've spent the last few days getting to know each other and forming opinions of each other.
The show started with the freakiest bunch of contestants we have seen since well ever cheering outside as they waited to see
if they would make it into the house. 13 housemates were chosen at "random" from the crowd and even Davina claimed not to know a
thing about the housemates as they entered the building.
So who went in then?
Your typical typecast contestants include:
John- Aussie becks look a like- quite vain and into his appearance. He came all the way from down under to apply for the show.
Think of him as a cross between Mario and Ziggy.
David- 39 year old minister of alternative Christian sect. Apparantly his church regularly meet and get intoxicated on the spirit.
Rather notabley David entered dresse in full Monk atire with emo hair and a red streak. But we really like the fact David has a dog.
Rachael- Professional Beyonce look a like - quite convincing when she smiles (which doesnt seem to be very often)- and hair stylist
she claims she is "the hottest girl in the big brother house".
Shabby- Cross dressing film maker. We were totally convinced that shabby was a man until we heard her speak. She definitely is
over excitible and used the word pootang in her audition video. Apparantly she gets alot of it. We doubt it.
Ben- Writer and broadcaster. Seems a bit posh. Nothing else really stood out about him- apart from his jacket- he wore a nice jacket.
Josie- Crass a bit red, bit stuck in the early naughties. Josie is financial sales rep. Which basically means she works in a call
centre. She was the first housemate to enter the house. Our initial response- bit dull- kind of figure that sticks about forever because
no-one hates her no-one likes her.
Sunshine- daddies little girl introduces herself with a hilarious annecdote about lying that her car was broken so her dad would by her
a new one. Her real name is Yvette but she gets everyone to call her sunshine just because. She likes glittery things and glues them on
aparantly all of her personal items. Studying to be a medical student.
Steve- ex serviceman that got hit by a barrel bomb. Has to artificial legs and a black glass eye that he has for sports to freak out the
enemy. Steve has eight kids and rates his attractiveness as 8/10 he's also heavily tattoed.
Caoinhe- 22 year old student with Rihanna (circa Run this Town hair cut). Likes to flirt alot with women and men although isnt really
interested in the ladies (she might get Shabby round her little finger). Most boo-ed entrant to the house. Entered in body con suit- skinnies
and Grace Jones shades.
Nathan- Trainer Joiner proper lad. Quite tall and blonde. Can't really work out much more than that- read we got very bored whilst his video played.
Corin- Fancies herself as Jordan, kept falling out of her dress on her way into the house. The 29 year old retail worker with fake tan
and tightly pulled up hair do reckons she looks about 24. We think she looks about three years older than the real Katie Price.
Govan- Looks good with a hat on looks really really young without it. Govan is a volunteer worker and thinks hes rather intelligent because
he likes reading. Apparantly he likes a good laugh though. Thank God for that.
Ife- Starts her interview tape with a sob story. She was handed over by her mother to a white family as a baby- Ife is a proffessional dancer
who has backed Cheryl Cole and Tinchy Stryder. She's looking to launch her own musical career now. We expect lots of singing in the house.
Possibley the best dressed housemate.

What's the twist?
A Mole ( yep we are sure they do this unmissable turn every season) anyway his name is Mario. He will engage in a series of secret tasks that disrupt the
other housemates lives in order to gain his place as the 14th housemate. He will be hindered a little by having to actually dress like a mole and live in a hole.

Anything Else?
The tree has been cut down (the tree that got Dane to cook bad food and Alex to smash a snowman) and turned into a chest of drawers randomly placed in the bathroom.

Can't find your take away menu? Here's the solution.

Nothing beats a takeaway on a quiet night in. But we can't work out where the vortex in our flat is that eats all the takeaway menu's from under our noses. Everytime it's the same story they vaporise into thin air and we're left desperately googling for the local chinese/indian/thai/japanese/italian/kebab restaurants take out menu.
Finally someone has come to the rescue and created a very clever website called The Master Menu- it's name pretty much sums the point of the site up. All takeaway menus in one handy place. You can order directly with the Master Menu online.
They filterresults by postcode or by town (hurray for all you stay-cationers you can order from your caravan) and filter results by which type of take out tickles your tastebuds.
Like what you hear? Visit it and bookmark it now. Oh and keep an eye out for sneaky Misticon lifestyle imagery across the site.
Enjoy!

Miley Cyrus is not amused after Bieber prank

After denying rumours in the press that she was dating internet teen pop sensation Justin Bieber- Hannah Montana star Miley Cyrus revealed that she had recieved a series of late night calls from him- and she wasn't amused.
"I was yelling because I thought it was someone that got my number. So I changed my number and he kept pranking me," she said.

"I really did believe it was a kid or something so I was like, 'I can't really yell 'cause I think it's a kid but I'm not really sure.'"

She added: "Finally, I was like (shouting), 'It's three o'clock in the morning!' He was like, 'Ha ha ha ha, it's Bieber. Call me back.' I was like, 'Oh my gosh, I'm going to hurt this kid.' My little sister loves him, but I'm going to kill him."
Bieber is obviously stepping up that old routine of if you like a girl throw rocks at her for the digital age.

Listen to Dizzee Rascals return to Grime Chase and Status Heavy

This track is like a very welcome slap in the face after Dizzee's recent number one track "Dirtee Disco". The Uk Hip Hop artist has teamed up with Chase & Status for this retrun to roots track "Heavy". Expect Ditree Stank to remove the audio from this track soon so fill your boots now!

Dizzie Rascal's Secret Girlfirend

Dizzee with Mistery Woman

Okay, I'll admit it I have always had a bit of a soft spot for Mr Rascal since his first track "I Luv U" so I was teensie bit jealous (que sulky face) when I found out that Dizzee has been keeping this young lady in the dark for TWO years.
The Sun broke the story this weekend after a source tipped them off. Still no details to emerge on this one yet.
Dizzee has definitely had a busy week with his new Chase & Status track being leaked this week

Stuart Cable Stereophonics drummer passes away

In 2003 Stuart Cable (then drummer) left the Stereophonics and pursued a quieter life. Police found him dead at 5.30 am this morning. Details surrounding the circumstances are still to be confirmed.
His mother said to walesonline.com"Stuart has travelled all over the world with the band and I have worried myself silly. He is now settled down and then this has happens. It has not sunk in yet."
Cable has presented the Kerrnag awards and had been presenting his own saturday evening show on BBC Wales Radio.

Angelina Jolies life revealed

Celebrity Author Andrew Morton (who revealed all about Princess Diana of Wales relationship with Prince Charles) has selected a new victim.
He has claimed that he has interviewed large numbers of friends and staff of Angelina Jolie and has compiled enough information to fill a book of stories of Cheating, LSD self harm and Voodoo.
He has given access to the upcoming biography to a Us Magazine. Details of the Brangelina relationship are also expected to be revealed.