Big Brother 11 extensive review of first episode

The Final series of Big Brother kicked off last night and for those of you who want to keep in the loop with the eleventh series
of the reality tv show but missed out on last nights circus themed affair we thought we'd fill you in. Big Brother invited 81 hopefuls
to meet each other on monday- they've spent the last few days getting to know each other and forming opinions of each other.
The show started with the freakiest bunch of contestants we have seen since well ever cheering outside as they waited to see
if they would make it into the house. 13 housemates were chosen at "random" from the crowd and even Davina claimed not to know a
thing about the housemates as they entered the building.
So who went in then?
Your typical typecast contestants include:
John- Aussie becks look a like- quite vain and into his appearance. He came all the way from down under to apply for the show.
Think of him as a cross between Mario and Ziggy.
David- 39 year old minister of alternative Christian sect. Apparantly his church regularly meet and get intoxicated on the spirit.
Rather notabley David entered dresse in full Monk atire with emo hair and a red streak. But we really like the fact David has a dog.
Rachael- Professional Beyonce look a like - quite convincing when she smiles (which doesnt seem to be very often)- and hair stylist
she claims she is "the hottest girl in the big brother house".
Shabby- Cross dressing film maker. We were totally convinced that shabby was a man until we heard her speak. She definitely is
over excitible and used the word pootang in her audition video. Apparantly she gets alot of it. We doubt it.
Ben- Writer and broadcaster. Seems a bit posh. Nothing else really stood out about him- apart from his jacket- he wore a nice jacket.
Josie- Crass a bit red, bit stuck in the early naughties. Josie is financial sales rep. Which basically means she works in a call
centre. She was the first housemate to enter the house. Our initial response- bit dull- kind of figure that sticks about forever because
no-one hates her no-one likes her.
Sunshine- daddies little girl introduces herself with a hilarious annecdote about lying that her car was broken so her dad would by her
a new one. Her real name is Yvette but she gets everyone to call her sunshine just because. She likes glittery things and glues them on
aparantly all of her personal items. Studying to be a medical student.
Steve- ex serviceman that got hit by a barrel bomb. Has to artificial legs and a black glass eye that he has for sports to freak out the
enemy. Steve has eight kids and rates his attractiveness as 8/10 he's also heavily tattoed.
Caoinhe- 22 year old student with Rihanna (circa Run this Town hair cut). Likes to flirt alot with women and men although isnt really
interested in the ladies (she might get Shabby round her little finger). Most boo-ed entrant to the house. Entered in body con suit- skinnies
and Grace Jones shades.
Nathan- Trainer Joiner proper lad. Quite tall and blonde. Can't really work out much more than that- read we got very bored whilst his video played.
Corin- Fancies herself as Jordan, kept falling out of her dress on her way into the house. The 29 year old retail worker with fake tan
and tightly pulled up hair do reckons she looks about 24. We think she looks about three years older than the real Katie Price.
Govan- Looks good with a hat on looks really really young without it. Govan is a volunteer worker and thinks hes rather intelligent because
he likes reading. Apparantly he likes a good laugh though. Thank God for that.
Ife- Starts her interview tape with a sob story. She was handed over by her mother to a white family as a baby- Ife is a proffessional dancer
who has backed Cheryl Cole and Tinchy Stryder. She's looking to launch her own musical career now. We expect lots of singing in the house.
Possibley the best dressed housemate.

What's the twist?
A Mole ( yep we are sure they do this unmissable turn every season) anyway his name is Mario. He will engage in a series of secret tasks that disrupt the
other housemates lives in order to gain his place as the 14th housemate. He will be hindered a little by having to actually dress like a mole and live in a hole.

Anything Else?
The tree has been cut down (the tree that got Dane to cook bad food and Alex to smash a snowman) and turned into a chest of drawers randomly placed in the bathroom.